I mean, you're like my second best best friend we're so close I can't believe you'd do that to me
I wish they had a smiley of two girls making out
they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Tortellini makes me feel like I'm eating hundreds of little vaginas
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
One my way home. There was too much fog, strobe lights, and cocaine for my taste.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
life lesson #151: dont let people go batshit crazy and stab you in the knee
i will live by this rule
It's a little sad/awesome that I scored coke within 60 seconds of walking in the bar.
The student becomes the teacher.
We BOTH lost our virginities there. It's basically a landmark.
i convinced him to be a french maid for halloween. he has no idea what he's in for. i just ordered the breast forms.
All I want for Christmas is my co-worker's speakerphone to be thrown against a brick wall, and the remains burned in a backyard fire while I roast a hot dog over it. Is that so much to ask?
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I just didn't expect to have anal in a retail store at 9 AM on a Tuesday.
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