So I've decided that when I turn 50 and have to have a colonoscopy I'm going to leave a surprise for the doctor to find.
I just jerked off and used a stopwatch to track my results. Pretty depressing on multiple fronts.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
please tell me why my pillow is wearing your thong...
...i wondered where i left that...
I just remembered that I did shots out of a gay mans crotch. And there's someone saved in my phone as "Miranda knows where my car is"
So I did end up texting him last night... I asked him how he felt about haircuts... not sure where I was going with that one?
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
We bought a pool from walmart at 2am...and to make matters even more white trash we headed to Applebee's for half off appetizers and corona-ritas
Like real life can suck my metaphorical dick right now.
You can't just take out your bong for hits in public places... That's what pipes are for. You've got to be stealthier.
No, it's okay because this is the city of trees.
YOU'VE ALREADY BEEN BUSTED MORE THAN ONCE. THAT'S NOT A VALID EXCUSE FOR BONG HITS IN COFFEE GARDEN
No, dude...I agree it's great in theory but I promise you that 80 drunk 21 year old sorority girls together in one room for formal is one of the worst drama filled ideas ever. Ever.
People like you and me aren't meant to go this long without having sex
idk what to be more embarrassed/confused about, that i lost my underwear or that i woke up covered in fried rice
gave up morals for lent, so far it's actually been really easy.
From now on I'd like to be known as Rampage.
Randomize
