YEA!!! I'll throw you a non-baby shower.
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
I dk what to do with this kid he is like legitimately interested in my life.
I love having hate sex.
just explained the breakup in detail to my big toes. that consolation brownie was Amazing.
the ball fondling will be left out of the trip recanting
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Taking dicks and breaking hearts, no better life
please tell me he didn't just scream 'i am the yiff lord' at the cops
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
he took a fucking pitcher of koolaid and vodka to the bath with him... i wake up from my blackout to his roomate screaming cause he spilled it and passed out in the middle of a blood red tub. she thought he killed himself. jesus christ its only the first day of break and i already regret coming home
I just wanna be naked and go frolic in the snow
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