If last night was a website it would be called poordecisions.com OR uncircumcisedspanishweiner.org
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
So... I just got back from the chiropractor... And he said I have a slight neck injury from head banging too much. Fuck yes.
he asked me to have sex with him by saying 'take one for the team'. so no we didn't do it.
We need somewhere to take these girls. Otherwise it's a orgy in the Mazda.
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
I left a care package of Jack Daniel's, pancake mix and porn in your apartment. Merry fucking Christmas.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
And we won't even have to pay the tab if we die AT the bar. So..win win.
Dude, I think shitting blood should be a cause for concern not celebration that you had a great night.
We called dibs on each other's genitals. That bond is unbreakable.
My entire grocery store purchase consisted of Little Debbie snacks and Budweiser
Never has jello made me angry to the point of drinking. But here I am.
I'm at a sex party and there's a guy in an ICP jersey and trip pants. I see now that this is the moment in the movie of my life I recognize I have a problem
Randomize
