DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
Alex texted me. Bootycall boy #2. its like an alarm goes off once i'm single that the line is open again
Im so ripped right now that i just filled the almost empty bottle of choc syrup with milk and drank it straight out of the bottle. It was on pointttttt.
all i remember was you yelling "look at my little feet" at everyone on the way home from the bar.
Saturday morning. Went into a study room excited b/c some1 had left a paper w/ an inspirational quote: YOU ARE cApable of aChieving anything yoU waNT. Then I read the bold letters.....
He had a joint rolled for us when he picked me up. It's how ASU does romance
Is it just me or does the sex still keep getting better? I wasn't crying, my eyes just watered from how hard I was cumming.
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
That moment when you see yourself in a security camera feed and realize you forgot a bra. And pants.
All I know is I drank too much, danced too little.. yet somehow woke up on the floor in the arms of some cowboy.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
Car is still out of commission. Looks like it's Grape Nuts and scotch for dinner.
Can I just go to one establishment in which I haven't banged anyone ?
I thought we agreed to no sexting at the school bake sale...
One lone grasshopper in the whataburger bathroom. Don't know how it got there. Scared the fuck out of me. Also puked over the side of the silverado fence. The horses looked disappointed. Animal magnetism is beautiful. You taught me well. I love you.
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