Why did I cab home last night?
Because you said you were drunk, sad, and someone called you a hooker.
I'm pretty sure my roommate has taken plan B more times than i've had sex. Not sure how that makes me feel.
Then he told me I had the most beautiful looking vulva
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I passed out in the stadium during the 4th quarter and you guys just left me there?
Yea, but we put money for a cab in your pocket.
I know I'm her Sunday school teacher. I just feel I would be saving others from a lot of headaches by telling her someday she's going to be a stripper
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
You went streaking and came back with your shirt inside out. Then said "it happens in the line of duty" and passed out.
Yah... You need to get here. Evan just peed off the karaoke stage.
I ran into his family and they made me a ham sandwich and I asked if they wanted to come streaking. I felt they deserved the invite.
I tried to walk home in my heels. And I fell into a snow bank. And then I cried and a policeman came up to me and said I can't sit in a snowbank and got me a cab. So maybe that's where I left my credit card. I remember the cop asking me if I was old enough to drink, too. OMG. How embarrassing. Pretty sure I told him to "leave me alone."
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
What'd I miss?
Erotic hypnosis and studded dog collars.
Let me atleast have my coffee before you start talking about your penis
Randomize