who the fuck tagged pancake nipples on my profile picture?
does it bother you that i swallowed like millions of your unborn children
actually, i try not to think about it
and i pooped them out
all ill say about last night is that we tried to stop you. oh and the bus you're on is going to nashville.
Not cool at all. Last night I organized my condoms by expiration date. I need to get laid.
But hes like a baby bird with a broken wing that i want to FUCK.
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Whoa, I am aware of WAY too many squirrels right now...
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
This is like a walk of shame down memory lane.
FUCK YOU IM DRINKING WINE FROM A BOX
You okay there or need a ride? Maybe a straw for your box
Maybe a straw...
college girl with braces trying to flirt with you...time to go
Randomize
