Do you still have your period?
I remember going home with 2 girls. Woke up with 4.
i just walked outside for a cigarette and three men walked by in glitter heels and gold shiny thongs. god i love chicago
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
there's a sign at taco bell and it says "bacon and ranch make everything better." it speaks to me.
tailgaiting my last final, a perfect sendoff.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
The guy I fucked in San Diego is camping with us for coachella... Awk.
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Take the weirdness of Japan and add the insanity of Florida and that's Jimmy
There's a 50-50 shot that I will wake up with an ass tattoo tomorrow.
I HAVENT HAD A NICE A NICE DICK SINCE FEBRUARY!! I WANNA KEEP THIS ONE!!!
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
Public service announcement: Just bc it is Margarita Monday does NOT mean your stomach will readily accept that much alcohol. There IS a reason it isn't called Magical Monday. On that note, better luck on Tequila Tuesday.
Randomize
