Did we have sex last night?
I think that was the general idea until I got you undressed and you puked on me.
went to the bathroom to piss, saw puke in the toilet thought wtf i dont remember puking, then turned around to find a chick i've never seen before passed out in my shower.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
Yeah I'm gunna date him. I figure its regular sex and maybe feelings will come in time...it worked for arranged marriages...
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
Just when I thought he had turned a new leaf, I see a "Let me get you pregnant" shirt in his closet
The hint wasn't even a hint. it said "stop talking to her" that's pretty straightforward
I wish I could have a tequila IV with me all the time. Intravenous tequila intoxication.
I've peed in two sinks in the past two weeks. No one should be able to say that.
Um, just removed my insulin from the fridge so that I could fit our case in there. Tell me, who has their priorities straight? THIS GIRL.
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
was having sex but got distracted... he instragramed a pic of his crotch
God... We're terrible. I'm so proud of us.
I know! It makes me feel all warm inside. Or maybe that's just me getting closer to hell.
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