so ur a construction worker, male escort, sex god and surfer? lol
well its been awhile since I've surfed
Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
do u think i could put an abortion on my debit card?
ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
With the way things had been going, I was never more excited for a person to cum
I'm now at that point where it just feels natural to do a few shots of whisky with breakfast and then head to work
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
His rebound girl is half his size, looks like a leprechaun, is majoring in theater studies and has arms like Rosie O'donnell. Do I win?
I got carried to one bar. Got a piggy back ride to the next bar. I was just testing our drinking team for st pattys day to make sure they are able to handle me more drunk than that.
I just had to take my laptop away from him because he was on Amazon and had 20 Seahawks garden gnomes in his cart.
The zoom feature on snap chat videos is the worst thing to ever happen to sexting
I never said it was inaccurate, I said I hate you.
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
Randomize
