I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
the crunchwrap supreme is the def leppard of the taco bell menu
which is why it's clearly superior
I want to dip my vagina in sugar. Not only will it be sweet, but it will have a nice sparkle.
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
the more i look through evidence of last night, the less i seem to remember.
Just charged fat mistake $3 for a beer.
Well the good news is my "i'm an adult" dinner party went well, they all brought wine and complimented my cooking abilities. the bad news is i woke up with the leftovers in my bed/on my face
On a separate but also a very relevant note, can we practice drinking wine like real people?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
Don't linger or you will get sucked into spending the night. Remember the mission mantra: GET OFF
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Shame?!? Shame only comes from getting naked in front of strangers and it not being awesome
In case you're wondering what frozen hashbrowns taste like at 4 in the afternoon, shame. They taste like shame.
I just remember banging him and then at some point I went and took a shower and went and laid in the closet
I swear to god if I have to repeat this to you one more mother fucking time I will flip fucking shit and acidic rain will pour down upon your mother fucking soul
Just because your drunk doesn't mean you can stick your dick in the snow. Just a FYI
Randomize
