i just took a sip of diet coke and i said " as soon as it hits my lips i wanna smoke a cig." then i thought of your dick.
Needless to say Beer Gardens severly frowns upon playing flip cups with real glasses.
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
they have a walk of shame score keeper on their fridge. I marked my tally for him on my way out..
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
My goal for tonight: make tomorrow as awkward as humanly possible.
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
hotdog in my bra and i still managed to score. Got a bit freaked when he tried to eat it though. I paid 3 bucks for that fucking hotdog.
I'm gonna write a book one day about how to be the less attractive person girls settle for after getting dumped. I will send you a copy
So good!! I became real good friends with an adorable black lesbian couple from Baltimore and a man in a diaper.
Just saw some lesbians get in a fistfight in an Arby's parking lot. It's good to be home.
Nothing says "class act" like eating acid in the middle of a Buffalo Wild Wings
I'll just bring the big suitcase this trip so I don't have to play wine bottle tetris again.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Randomize
