i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
dude on moped wearing crocs...somebody get this guy his man card back
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
I wish i had more things to dip in ranch... That's the most stoner thing i've ever said
Spotted: woman loading franzia into a toddler-sized shopping cart for her child to push. Beautiful.
did you dip my ponytail in franzia? its the only thing i can think of to explain my hair right now.
Are we going out tonight?
My conscience says no but my vag says yes
Finding a keg in our kitchen would be like god personally high fiving each of us.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
She was humming during sex. After I asked her why, she said it was her sex theme music
Sorry my hands just texted you
Withdrawals are gods way of saying "you're still my bitch"
Bitch, he is not your friend and this is not Bravo. Get in this car before you get smacked
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I refuse to go to a doctor for a sex injury, not when I've come so far already
Randomize
