I think scott just propositioned me for sex
I molested 6 butterflies tonight
You're boyfriend is farting in his sleep. The last one sounded like a threat.
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
Welp, she's chewing our paper towels again. She's like an obnoxiously hot puppy
We fucked to techno music while he wore shin guards... best sex ever.
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
Apparently coming home smelling like I took a bath in beer is frowned upon in this household. I'm so glad I don't actually live here.
Did copperhead road at the bar. All the girl next to me did was stare at my glorious bouncing tits. CAN I FUCKING HELP YOU?? I worked hard for these tits.
It would be like if I said I had the cure for cancer and my explanation was I like turtles.
The compounded multi day delayed hangover hit me hard today, with a vengeance normally reserved for large objects that go in my ass. I don't feel good.
you got to sleep with him and don't even remember it? that's like sleeping through an entire vacation
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
I promise your sink was clogged before I threw up in it.
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