I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
you threw up out the window, wiped your face with a twenty dollar bill, and threw that out the window too.
did we at least go back and get it?
how else do you think we got jack in the box...?
I know it is almost summer when the students in my night class start showing up drunk.
Whatever. I'll let someone else deal with his flacid penis.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
just letting you know, you took a hit of the blunt while sleeping. happy birthday
I transported a midget tonight. He got beat up by another, midgetier midget. Is it bad that this is what makes me feel compassion after 15 years of being a paramedic?
Midgetier?
Smaller, yet meaner.
I would say I'm the man in the relationship but I'm cuddled on the couch eating cake mix and water.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
I guess what I'm trying to get to is that my dog sneezed on my dick earlier and its really taken the joy out of my evening.
I AM SO HORNY, I AM GOING TO DIE. I NEED SOMEONE TO WISH MY VAGINA A MERRY CHRISTMAS.
These morning walks of shame have became my morning jogs
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
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