I've come to the conclusion that as a grad student I would much rather prefer to get laid then get drunk
I think you know full well that a few years ago my stance was the polar opposite
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
apparently you can't crawl through the drive-thru window
i think he just broke into a bike shop his last text said something about hiding in some tree
I woke up in an empty bathtub with the wrong brother
You can achieve whatever you wish in your imagination with some help from drugs
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
There is nothing wrong with me introducing you as elephant dick. Nothing.
I've had to take two showers today and it's not even 1 o'clock. Why won't this weekend wash off?
I just put vagisil on my bug bites how do you think my morning is going
Well my normal tinder strategy of "Will I have sex with her when I'm sober" has been paying off
I got stabbed with a couple of chip crumbs during sex Saturday. Further proof I need to stop eating snacks in bed
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Randomize