I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
and you're not allowed to put a penis in you if it's attached to a 26 year old who works at blockbuster
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
There are paw prints all over my ceiling.
Some guy thought i was the waitress and handed me his credit card. drinks on me.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
The cop told us he we helped him pass his monthly bong quota. He almost ran out of room on the hood of his car..
Last night when you stole the construction sign you told me to tell you that first you did it for the money Than you did it for the music But mostly you did it for your family
Can we go one day without you telling me that your dick misses me
I was looking at the storm clouds during my run and one oddly resembled ur penis
My liver is fucking rocky. Get knocked down 7 times and gets up 8. World champ
He sent me a picture of a gas station condom and said "we probably shouldn't use this but if I was to impregnate someone on accident I'd want it to be you"
They started shooting fireworks out of a dryer. It was my cue to leave.
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
you can't just call dibs on my vagina bro.
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