Maybe I'll tuck it in and pretend to be a woman pretending to be a man that is attracted to women that are attracted to women who look like men
What's the wine called that we really like and we usually drink it with xanax?
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Don't blame me for eating all the ham.. I gave it out to people, so at most I'm guilty of ham distribution
We decided we needed a drinks fridge in our bathroom.
Mystery lines found in a Pyrex dish in the back of my pantry at 415 am. No recall as to it's origin. Unidentifiable taste. Obviously I'm doing them
He looks like he'd be great Lego character.
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
Your mother may get texts again about women putting dog food up their vaginas and asking for it to be licked.
Trust me, I'm a professional lesbian.
I honestly didn't think living in Canada would change me, until I found myself watching hockey porn
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
Was not aware that standing loudly up off the couch and loudly, drunkenly slurring "I'M EIGHTEEN NOW BITCHES" counted as a primitive mating call.
Randomize