she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I made the bartender pinky promise me there was still vodka in my drinks.
she's crying while babbling "all i do is win"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
Standing on the street at 6am in Hong Kong drinking beer. Watching all the hookers do the walk of shame from our hotel. How did I get here? Maybe all my bad choices in my life were really good ones?
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
So his roommate walked in on us, went upstairs to tell her bf she has found a new use for the rafters & they must try it.
It's a whole movie about Joseph Gordon-Levitt watching porn and having sex... I NEED to own it..
I don't know what she looks like but I'm pretty sure she has a pussy.
If I don't get struck by a lightning bolt from God by midnight it will be a Christmas miracle.
You know how it is. Tell me not to do somebody and suddenly I wanna.
I think I just got booty called by someone I've never slept with or even really had a conversation with before.
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
My mom is worried I'm not eating enough protein so she's sending me 48 cans of tuna. That's not a typo.
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