It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
If a guy called my cleavage "mesmerizing" but is kinda related to me, does it still count?
do people in england often walk their sheep on leashes? or is this guy the exception to the rule?
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
i secretly love the power trip of being their RA & busting these idiots for everything i did as a freshman
What's life without a lamp shade you wore home?
Im having a christmas reunion party tonight. Last year i ate my own contact. We'll see how this year goes
Using our apartments online floor/space planner to see how many beer pong tables we can fit. Dont think they had this in mind when they put this thing online.
Probably not lol but were fitting as many as possible
So I'm dropping a fat deuce at work, and the lock on the stall door slips and the door slides open, when suddenly someone comes in. Now I have two options, I can either get up quickly and try to shut the door quickly (not easy to do with one hand) or I can just sit there and play it off like it's no big deal and I always dump at work with the door open. I chose option two, and it was as awkward as it sounds.
His 12 year old sister has bigger boobs than me and now that's all I can think about when we have sex
Nothing but goodness could come from two friends getting naked. Think of all the good advice and other things we could give to each other.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
I will not go because I am a man of my word and of my penis.
I guess I’m only into threesomes at Halloween, because I just woke up next to “Marilyn Monroe” and “Joe DiMaggio” in their condo
Randomize
