This is not my ceiling
I cant. I'm trying to smell my vagina.
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Yes, that's a picture of my balls. It isn't however an answer to my question.
So I just chugged the rest of the wine in my mug so I would have something to eat my corn flakes in. With a plastic fork. I need a dishwasher
And maybe a life coach?
There's a mechanical bull in the basement dude where are you
There were grown college boys running around north campus in capes with nerf guns. If security were to be called I think they would just give them more beer.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
I woke up in a bath tub and my face was sore and it wasn't because of you, I was impressed
This tequila is so bad I might cry. I won't Throw up but I might cry
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
I'm a lady who knows what she wants in life, and that's uncommitted dick.
Even my fuck buddy told me I needed a boyfriend. Fml.
My vagina just clenched in fear
Randomize
