If i see another girl turn you down you should either turn gay or just kill yourself
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
becoming an adult blows. i don't think its possible for me to wake up for anything that doesn't involve kegs and eggs or half naked bums passed out in our yard.
Heating the house with the oven may not be safe but at least it's always preheated
I searched the house and found a small bottle of sherry which is probably as old as I am, has prob gone off and tastes like shit. I don't care any more. It has come to this.
She found 60 bucks at the strip club. Its probabably been in a vagina but really most money probably has
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
I think that's the first time I had "ass rimming" scroll across my phone at work
Do not ever look at a picture of an erect ostrich penis. You will regret it.
Did I tell you he put a lobster carcass on his dick?
slept with a 6'5 mountain man from Montana and then he played 'Girls Just Wanna Have Fun' on repeat..
He’s older
Like “has a job and pays his bills” older or “still watches porn on DVD because he can’t figure out the Internet” older?
Randomize
