"Monday" is guna come over...
but its Thursday?
yeah, but she cant make it.Monday can...so there ya go
Did your girl go home? Did she have fun? Can we have our friend back?
a dead guy is trying to sell me oxy clean on my tv
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Pregnancy scare over. Let the cockfest begin.
There is a mirror in the headboard of the bed that I'm sleeping in so I can immediately question life choices when I wake up.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
This juggling 3 dicks is getting exhausting
That's some primal shit right there. My vagina is all like CONSUME HIM AND HIS FRUIT HE WILL GIVE YOU SONS!
I understand that just don't try to seduce me while making frozen pizza again.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
can we fuck so we can live up to our nicknames for eachother?
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
Randomize
