It was like a drunk episode of Dora the Explorer. In English.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
You kept yelling that her vagina looked like a hatchet wound.
you convinced the bartender to un-cut you off by letting him touch your boobs whenever you ordered a drink.
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
Bad things happen to those who bang their lab partner at the beginning of the semester.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel like every young boy's first wet dream is too have sex with the Pink Ranger. I am now fulfilling that dream for one man. I am a hero.
He fed us edamame like baby birds. Slowly all coming back to me.
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
I got so drunk I thought my tennis court was a corn field so I laid in it and ate pizza
someone is getting fuckign RAWDOGGED on this campus as we speak and it makes me FURIOUS
Randomize
