I'm drunk
Is that why you're texting me
Yes
I feel like people whose favorite movie is Donnie Darko should not be allowed to talk. Ever.
she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I thought that since they were twins... they would be equally as good in bed
Just used the salt in the bottom of my mcdonalds bag from last night on the eggs i made this morning. Way too hungover for this
This is random, but did i give u a handjob in the middle of the night or was that a dream?
Who would have guessed that on my moms birthday she'd have sex with the door open. :(
I dare you try and top an Eiffel tower full of Margarita
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
My gynaecologist hit my g-spot today by accident and for some reason I went "at least someone found it" VERY AWKWARD
third nipple confirmed
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
we played his NES Classic. Turns out there is a warp zone to my vagina.
all I remember is grinding on everyone in the room regardless of gender and quoting the lion king non-stop. We need to stop buying Jameson.
Fuck the walk of shame. I make this shit glorious.
The fact that you arent wearing shoes probably just adds to the classiness
Condom wrapper stuck to my shirt ups the anty
Randomize
