I think he may have called me a bar rat, jokingly. I said i was but in a non-trashy way.
Do you feel like you missed out a little from not getting crabs in college?
i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
I've been drunk so often this summer being sober is exciting
your brother is wearing shin guards in the swimming pool. i have a feeling that this happens often
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
She gained 35 lbs and has an ankle bracelet, time for new booty call.
I blacked in at 6:30am on the last stop on the train with a random fedora on? And I'm pretty sure I rode in a limo last night while eating pizza
Nothing brings people closer than bonding over tequila shots and running from campus security.
He walked in at 7am saying that the police had his shoes and phone because he's being investigated for attempted auto theft.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
I think i just shit in their garbage can, I'm ready for that ride u owe bro.
Dude you spoke to a girl about CRICKET. She MUST want sex
i dunno, a lot of my childhood feels like a drugged up fever dream
She's nice. But even when I am with her I am thinking of her mom, literally the hottest woman on earth.
Randomize
