The doctor said 'youre the 2nd youngest person that ive seen with this condition. Thats probably not the silver medal you were looking for today.'
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
I think you'll appreciae more than anyone that I'm renting my parking spot out for a half gallon of vodka a month.
Hurry up and get here I'm judging myself
Oh if I trust ANYTHING about you it's your ability to lead a douchebag around by the dick
i dont know how he's 22 and thinks emoticons will get him laid. lady boner just died.
I feel like everyone in class can tell we had a threesome last weekend.
So this is where people who peaked in high school come to drink?
Is it bad that I want a job purely so I can buy drugs with without feeling like I am sacrificing my future?
Why do you think I have a job?
All I'm saying is that if he knows his wife walks around naked during the day, he shouldn't bring a friend home for lunch and show up unannounced.
Thanks for duct tapping my dick to my leg while I was passed out. I could only aim straight down. I stood on your bed. Have a nice day at work!
What happened to you last night?
SO. MANY. SHOTS.
YOUR MANICOTTI IS FULL OF LIES
Sorry i meant to send that to my mom
Psssh like you wouldn't lick BBQ sauce off my nipples.
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
