i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
Best text conversation ever. Other than the one we had about using blood for lube.
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
I think it's our patriotic duty to get high and watch the state of the union tonight
The one wearing a viking helmet and holding a bottle of Smirnoff. She's laying on the floor of the tube singing "cant find my way home" . You can't miss her..
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
No one suspects that a sweet girl who is excited about her anniversary with her bf just blew her partner at work in a communal area a few hours ago, so its cool.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Yes I did. Thanks. I was actually an hour and half early. I'm better at public transport than I thought. Guy behind me on the bus is also crying. We compared cry-snot. It was nice in a weird sad way.
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
Just when I decided to go get a taco and a blunt cake it starts raining. Coincidence? or divine intervention?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
Just told my dad about my heroic mailbox showdown. He looked at me strange. I think he thinks I'm high.
You are high.
Randomize
