so he expects you to be his vegas whore for the season. nice.
I look better un-naked...
I hate cats. They're so curious, it's not their damn business.
Well, shes famous, an alcoholic, hillarious, and has big boobs.... Pretty much my only aspirations in life.
Just found out its our ciliated mucous membrane that traps the molly when we snort it. Biology does relate to life
I'm bleeding from my lower lip, and I have bruises around my neck. It was just easier to say I got mugged.
I heard him say "bet you won't", look over 10 seconds later and she's blowing him.....looked eloquent under the glow of a camp fire.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
Don't come. It's not even a party it's a total sausage fest. Like 20 drunk dudes in a bedroom. We can still drink by ourselves though it'll be ok
Embrace your curves. Cuz we're too poor for a coke habit.
Sometimes while peeing I'll go hands free, put my arms up by my chest and make claw hands, and pretend I'm a new type of dinosaur called Dickosaurus Rex.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
Dude it's huge. I don't usually like looking at those things, but you're kind of forced to stare that horse in the face.
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
Randomize
