Odds of those being real?
One in who gives a fuck
i've never been more proud of someone than i was when he told me he got his first blowjob at age 13...from two chicks
So currently I have a block of cheese duct taped to my air conditioner in lieu of a fridge.
I take back everything I said about communal showers
the spit in my mouth is still 99% not mine.
theres a kid face down in the middle of campus... people are going about their day and paying no attention to him
So many stories. To uyou are sober. I heart you though. Jesus. Dirrty dancing jusyt came oine!!no. Lie.
At least drunk me was smart enough to stash toilet paper in my bag before I started my walk home. Finally countless squat pees and wiping with grass taught me to be prepared.
Whats your number? 5 or more?
Cinco. It sounds smaller in Spanish.
You are one with the wind and sky, bro.
How many nights in 2015 can we have no one get injured, run away crying, or get into a brawl?
It took me an hour to walk from my drive way to my front door... what the fuck was in that weed?
I think it's your fault my nipples aren't sensitive anymore.
Like I just wanted some midlife crisis fun, not drama as big as his dick.
I NEED HELP. IM TRIPPIN BAWLS IN THE BACK OF MY MOMS CAR.
Randomize
