He really likes Obama...and Bill Clinton too. He said "I mean, how many presidents can say that they got head in the oval office?"
Soulmates.
The douche that always wears spandex at the gym just walked into class with a dick going into his mouth drawn on his face. The professor said "rough night" and he still has no idea. Tyring to get a pic
She said i kept moaning her moms name instead of hers
I just sat through a State Farm mortgage Insurance commercial to watch a Trick Daddy video. Is this the target audience they are going for here?
She said we should all be mermaids since didn't breathe for 9 months inside our mothers. I want her logic.
You have proved your worthiness to join me on the quest of taking shots at every academic building on campus by showing up drunk to our test at 12:30 today
If you come, call before you come in. I'm tanning my balls. Enjoy that visual.
You're not on my level until you shop at Petsmart for sex accessories.
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
sitting alone on a bench with a sombrero and a bottle of vodka. really angry i got here before you guys.
I feel like I'm going to get the reputation of being the girl who brings her dog with her to all her random hookups.
I have a rage boner right now. An actual erection brought on by the amount of sheer hatred I have towards nationwide.
Sorry was covered in semen when you texted me. Just walking back from the Harvard Club
All you needed to say was one of those sentences and the other would've been implied.
Reasons why I love cats more than people: 1. They're not fucking people.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
Randomize
