dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
I have to tell you about my conversation with the cloud dragon!
Ive never seen someone more dtf than a soaking wet drunk girl who stumbles into your backyard.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
There's a high school volleyball camp on campus this summer. I'm definitely going to jail.
THIS NIGHT WILL NOT GO DICKLESS
Can I bring some rope too? It's not too early for bondage talk, is it?
RE-DICK-YOU-LUSSSSS
That's me emphasizing the ridiculous
You should have thought about how you were going to treat me before having me take photos of your asshole.
Geez don't go to a bar for a few days and everyone freaks out.
driving home hungover today was like a life test..it was like the goblet of fire
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
One of your 'guests' left her bra in the kitchen.
Dude, does it look like any of the women I bring home wear bras?
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
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