Cold hands, warm shart.
I wish Pampers made couches for people like us.
I took a picture of his ID so i could remember how to spell his last name and facebook stalk him later...I think he saw me do it
don't think this is any sort of attachment thing but if I'm going to throw up regularly at your house, I'm going to keep a tooth brush there
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
He was having a "party in the princess castle." At what point do I blindfold him and take him to AA?
She was hiding under the bed to surprise me with sex. But when you took your hookup in my room to bang things out, she thought I was cheating on her. So explain it to her douche.
I just remember her dragging me inside in a panic saying we needed mentos and popcorn I have no fucking clue how we ended up asleep in her closet.
I just realized that every possible way I walk to campus I walk by the house of someone I slept with
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
he just fucked me for my cheese.
My dad accidentally texted me asking if I had weed...
Maybe you should say yes, and you guys can like bond or something...
We spent our last night together taking turns vomiting in the bathroom. I'd say it was a romantic trip.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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