Too bad my picture didn't come thru. It was one of me naked riding a unicorn with a wizard hat and a magic staff. And the unicorn had wings. And me too.
my grandmother thought she vaccuumed up a quarter so she made me open the bag, dump it out on her front lawn, and dig through it. no quarter.
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
whoever threw up in my shampooo bottle is totally getting defriended on facebook.
i tried to stop you. you just kept saying your split ends needed punishment.
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
I thought he was joking about the hundred beer challenge until two guys showed up with a camera and boom mic. This cabin party is going to be fucked
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
If you spent as much time trying to get laid as you do masturbating you would surpass all of us.
You could make a naked club. One member, you. One president, you.
Who had my phone last night? Whoever it was sent "Fuck you, you're adopted" to half the people on my contact list.
Tell me again why we had to Facebook stalk your therapist?
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
Imma make him fuck me with my jersey on tonight while I chant Go Jets Go. Gotta love playoff hockey szn.
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How can i make it up 2 u?
DREW I AM SMOKING POT AND FUCKING. WE CANNOT DISCUSS THIS AT THIS PARTICULAR JUNCTURE.
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