First thing she said after sex was.. are you baptised by chance?
I feel like if your cat could talk she would call me a cunt.
I tried to tell her I've only slept with 3 other people...she then named off 5 of her sorority sisters I fucked and asked me if she should continue
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
Currently in the bathroom stall of a gay bar in new haven giving myself an anti throw up pep talk
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
do u know what happened to the bottles last night?
apparently we hid them.... i google mapped the location into my phone
Was that you I seen riding on the top of a cab? Way to start the new year
low point in my life last night. licked pizza grease off my iphone screen..
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
I'm usually good at keeping a straight face, but not while singing a ballad to a stranger in a bathroom.
Smoking a bowl and ordering Dominos, you want in on either, both, or none?
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
Randomize