I wanted to google "huge banana" but I'm pretty sure all I'd get is dick pictures.
She just asked me if her C-section scar turned me on.
I made a game called come to class high and eat nachos.
New handbag passed the ultimate test. The walk of shame. I had a bra, tights, skirt, shirt & sweater in it and you couldn't tell. yessss.
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I just watched a woman in a full wedding dress and veil walk out of the chinese buffet...I no longer believe I have a problem, and am afraid I am underdressed.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
Breakfast of champions
Is that a dick crepe?
It is indeed
I've drank literally 19 beers and am still good. Utah is worthless
He turned down head in favor of a handjob. Not sure if he's crazy or i have magic hands
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
The CEO is on this whole 'what do you do with your spare time?' kick. Umm... get drunk and have sex in bar parking lots.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Our livers get a hall pass for 2020, right?
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