my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
nah, shes just mad because we went through all her fb pics and tagged her crotch as all the guys shes fucked
Just got thank you sex for shoveling the driveway. I cant wait for the next blizzard
My flask crushed my baggie full of aderall in my backpack, why can't my demons just live together in peace
You need to take one for the team and go bang a random sample of mexicans. Cause my internets broke and I can't google mexican foreskin stats.
one of the service guys here said i licked ranch off your face lastnight
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
Talk me down man. Writing a paper drunk and about to buy Celine Dion's greatest hits.
If you're not washing nut sweat off of your forehead this morning I'm disappointed in you
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
What's the address and code again...does anyone need anything and why is my viking helmet on the bed?
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
I just let my boss bend me over his desk and spank me. I think that is some sort of American dream.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
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