So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
wait.. the condom broke. ehh whatever i think im already 2 months pregnant
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I said I was going to sleep an hour ago. Now I'm making plans to get high with the guy who mows your lawn.
im that hungover where parking at red lights has to be done
Should I feel guilty that my husband is cheating on his girlfriend with me? I mean, we're not divorced yet so I still have dibs, right?
At 12:16 am. We just got out of the truck and went behind it and fucked. With 3 people in the truck. On the side of the road. As cars drove by.
Also I think I realized when my life started to turn into shambles.. The day I took my high school senior picture WITH A HICKEY ON MY NECK
Easy Mac and you are the sexiest things in my life
I just remember lots of butts and something about ranch dressing.
Do you ever get a cramp in like, ONE labia?
Dealing with people is so much easier after you've had an orgasm or 4.
I think my pickup truck has been used for the sex... This doesn't sit right with me.
I bet you my entire life savings of $0 that there's a Doctor Who porn parody and that it features the sonic screwdriver being inserted into some cavities
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