I'm holding in my pee so that I can hear "Cowboy" in its entirety on the radio
I hope you never procreate. Philly is already the ugliest city in the country.
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
once he started yelling at me in latin, i wasn't sure what we were fighting about anymore...
my three year anniversary of no dick sucking is coming up. you can throw me a party with a penis cake.
I need input, can I pre-game my cat scan?
It's such a good feeling to send those "I'm not in jail" texts on Sunday morning
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
I am broke enough to accept it. If I get poisoned, you can have my shoes
Pretending to leave a voicemail when the person answers the phone....that's gotta be drunk dial level 99
If I don't get my shit together, I'm going to be one of those really fucked up cases on 1000 ways to die
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
My hand smells like rave and peanut butter.
The parents I babysit for are at this orgy. I need to leave.
I plan on getting so intoxicated, that I think it's MY own birthday
Can I play this game?
Randomize
