Warning...her vagina is big, like sleeping bag big.
She got all mad because she said it was "unprofessional" to tell my manager to go fist herself.
No matter what you may say to me. You will still be the guy that managed to get his own cum in his hair.
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
he's dressed up as pikachu 3 fucking years in a row and gotten laid each time. i don't understand
He showed up at my house, drunk, proclaiming that he needed to fuck me...my dad let him in
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
tom claimed she had a star tattooed around her buttonhole. i am not prepared for this era of skankyness
He complimented the perfect handprints you left on each of my ass cheeks.Thanks.
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Almost lost a vagina lip in the great shave of '16
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
You spilled your drink, and we laughed so hard my boobs popped out of my shirt.
I think it's a bit on the nose for the Uber driver to play stairway to heaven while driving like A psycho.
Randomize
