Think the blond can even spell "shiksa"?
fuck, i think i'm broken. Alchyhol air mattress = the suck.
i don't remember her name, but i don't need it unless we decide to hook up again. but even then, i can get away with not knowing it for a while. it's not like we have actual conversations.
i wish you could fill a pinata with booze
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I will be naked everywhere
OH MY GOD DO YOU REMEMBER WISHBONE? DO YOU REMEMBER THAT LITTLE BITCH? WHAT'S THE STORY WISHBONE
if you had such a terrible roommate you would understand. jacking off in his conditioner is just the start.
I won't apologize to a one balled man
Would your heart desire to drink copious amounts of alcohol tonight?
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
ten seconds after he was done making out with the blonde, he rips off his jacket and screamed "Goddamn it, you know I like brunettes"
I have never seen someone so pissed at getting some. i called dibs so fuck him
Like its not even midnight and I've already had enough of her for all of 2015
I don’t know whether to call out sick or call in drunk
Randomize
