Can Purell be used as lube?
You kept telling that ginger girl, "it's not your fault, it's not your fault, it's not your fault."
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
Peter invited his little brother to smoke with us and he is trying so hard to pretend he's done it before. When he saw the weed he was like "hell yeah!" and everyone got completely silent and just looked at him
I'm at Home Depot to get supplies to fix the wall we cracked by fucking too hard against the bookshelf.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
I sobered up in the middle of it, that I was hooking up with him in a rosemary bush. I woke up smelling like a pasta dish
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I've spent all afternoon taking and editing selfies. The life of a bimbo is truly tiring.
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
just yelled CURVEBALL at my nightie because it turned out to be a pair of shorts
I officially have worse injuries from a baby shower than roller derby.
You’re like one of those doomsday preppers, but for your vagina
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