well..after leaving the bar you handed me your wallet and said you didnt need it cause you were going to find the cash cab and added 'i'll see you on tv'
In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Ok I won't set anything on fire if you wear pants all night. This is a bet we're both destined to lose.
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Should we discuss the rug burns on my back or just save that for a separate conversation
Dont forget the glove box taco bell stash i saved for drunk us.
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
Just peed on my foot. Thank you Sunday hangovers.
Someone has big plans this weekend. Just went to throw away the trash and saw packaging for 3 different vibrators on the top of the stack
and then I said "oh, I see the price of Plan B has gone up". and the pharmacist looked at me very sadly. I was just trying to make conversation.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
If I die here, tell my vagina and my cats that I'm sorry.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize
