I feel like she's the kind of girl who always ends up with guys who have oddly shaped dicks..
Should study in library more often, procrasturbating is less of an option.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
Hold on, I gotta pump breast milk for the white russians.
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
I'm getting drunk off Malibu and watching Drag Race and it's only 2 in the afternoon. I'm the poster child for sad gay men.
i really love you but i feel kinda dumb about it
Its like a glacier coming out of my asshole.
The weekend was a blur. There was vodka and penises and orgasms. I played a game of Cock Roulette and won big
Randomize
