he's 24. he finally texted me instead of using facebook chat. baby steps.
I am totally the chick from Intervention who barfs up wine and then re-eats it.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
it will be an insanely irresponsible summer.the only things i plan on not doing are dying and getting pregnant.and even those are negotiable
We're on a cock hunt. Everything is fair game.
I wouldn't blame my organs if they just decided to quit working after this weekend
You're not stopping till I see you on the ground trying to hold on to shit
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Goodbye spring break, hello depressing video on AIDS.
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
Literally too hungover to clean. I'll get the frosting off the table tomorrow, ok?
Didn't you used to babysit him?
18 years ago I helped him into his clothes. Today he helped me out of mine.
Best part about losing weight and not fitting into your pants any longer? They come off quick for chipotle emergencies.
I need a beard to bite.
I'm at the fucking ritz Carlton and I would leave here to cuddle with her. Not even fuck, just cuddle. What th hell is wrong with me?
I think it's called love, bro
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