just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
this is like her 8th guy since december, is she wasn't frumpy people would call her a whore
I woke up with semen in my invisalign. My molars were just marinating in it
Exactly how does jacking off in my purse count as a 'early christmas present'?
Thats why you have fulfilling relationships with nice girls and i have kinky sex with crazies
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
you might as well be a hobo. you were covered in pee last night hanging out on the stairs drunk.
right. well we all have our lows.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I think that means you're growing up...when your coke nail becomes your opening mail nail.
But I did spend part of my morning scrubbing your cum off my grandmothers piano.
You peed in my kitchen, while crying and insisting my floor was a toilet.
Maybe not Elvis quality pharmaceuticals...But some good stuff
If I call him daddy should I get him a father's day card? Serious question
I love you even if you are fucked up. If you fall, i'll just get on top of you.
Ugh hungover at a laundromat is a terrible feeling. For some reason I keep getting sucked into staring at the clothes spinning around and around and it makes me want to profusely projectile vomit everywhere
Randomize
