Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
Only you would think wine and coffee was an acceptable finals study time mix
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Half of elefante. Gelafin galaxy
You sat on my knee, like Santa, while I peed.
If you're receiving this text it's probably because I drunkenly flashed you on Saturday. Sorry for forcing you to look at my tits. That was uncalled for.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
one of my coworkers wanted to look something up on YouTube on my tablet. I didn't know how to explain why my most recent search was "girl fucks dog."
I'm drunk. And I'm alone. Eating chicken fingers in my underwear. I'd say life is grand.
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I’ve wanted to home wreck him since their wedding. It was a dream come true
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