my cup is half full, half full of rum.
you were stumbling around in your attic looking for all your swim team medals because you wanted to "feel like a champion."
I was just walking down the hall and passed a very pregnant girl wearing a shirt that said "blame it on the aaaaaa-alcohol." I can't decide if she's brilliantly witty or just pointing fingers.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
That combination of brocholi bacon eggs cheese ketchup and pasta would have been a revaltion had you not thrown up on the stove and put out the pilot light
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
Well the pizza delivery man was either startled or incredibly intrigued to see me skateboarding in the living room by myself at 1 in the morning in ripped pantyhose
This isnt meant to be as creepy as it sounds, but do you seriously want a lock of the hair I cut off?
That BJ in the bathroom was definitely worth the $20 cover.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
I'm pretty sure that waking up butt ass naked with a bottle of 151 and a note that said "I didn't want to wake you up, but thanks" proves I had a good time....god bless America
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
You're going to love the baby's room.
I doubt it. I can't have sex there anymore. That severely limits the appeal of the room to me.
Only I would get an underage 24 hours before turning 21.
Randomize
