that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
apparently i saved myself a memo last night titled "cake" and all it says is "i love it so much"
Idk wtf I would do on a date. I thought wed passed that stage at least for a while. Nowadays dates should consist of blackouts and shameful mistakes.
New discovery: pineapple flavored vodka. Life made, liver in jeopardy. Graduation t-minus 50 minutes.
Smoked Hookah in the playhouse last night. Childhood was so fun.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
You need a twittervention. You're better than this.
It would seem she's painting a bullseye right in between her legs
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
One last thing: he lists glow sticks and tacos as things he can't live without. How would we not be friends??
My walk of shame was four miles long and I had to stop for a water break. I am the picture of class.
You spent the whole night conversing with your zombie poster, so I'd say you were pretty far gone.
Everytime after he came, he'd laugh uncontrolably for ten mintutes. He was sober..
You have thirteen minutes to get here if you want to get back together. Otherwise I'm getting digits from the waitress.
Randomize
