you're like a bully in the Christmas story
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I was fucking the girl and her best friend walked in on us. She said we looked thirsty, got us a glass of water, and poured it down both of our throats. It was like... sex bottle service
As a female I reserve the right to put my ipod in my cleavage because I have no pockets and not get judged by other girls right??
I totally cried the whole time and then screamed out my new therapists name....
All I want to do is fuck in the bell tower before it leave this school. Is that too much to ask?
I just took a shot out of my supervisors unzipped jeans. Our staff parties are getting a little too personal
Seriously. My vagina. Can we talk about it? It's gonna jump off this treadmill and devour my trainer.
All i hear is "BITCH BETTER HAVE MY HONEY" and i turn around and there is a dude in a bear costume. It was fur real.
Either of you know why the shower was on and the bathroom door wide open with no one in there at 6 in the morning?
Just jacked in the family restroom in the hospital while eating beef jerky and looking at reddit gone wild.
That's just how I roll. I drink, then tell people I'm either not wearing underwear or I'm training to be a stripper.
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
I dont know which is weirder.. the fact that i just watched our mom kick ass at beer pong and ride the pole like a true fire girl or the fact that ive never felt closer to her in my life.
She called me at 2am crying because her late night booty call moved out of state
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