a guy named alex was hitting on my friend tonight. he doesnt work on wind turbines tho.
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
tweet Hawks Win!! tweet
That's how twitter works, right?
I thought I was riding a bike, but I guess it was a vacuum cleaner
i hit her car. ill just send her a farmville gift in the morning. then it'll be alright.
At the miami airport. Don't know if it's all the tequila I drank in cozumel or the 5 year olds french accent but I might puke.
So there's 10 guys in this picture..I've made out with 5 of them. does this make me a slut?
eh 50% isn't bad..i'd say 80% is slut material.
I didn't think moms care packages could get better than greygoose, weed & double stuffed oreos, but she just snet me a chocolate bar full of mushrooms.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
being alone eating nachos and drinking from a giant munchen beermug really isnt that sad
apparently i told her i wouldn't press charges if she brought me food.
There is nothing like getting stoned and spying on people with binoculars
So yeah you need to stop having near death experiences at McDonalds.
i dont get why youre mad at me. i promised you he looked like jim morrison and you failed to ask me like which era
Waking up early to fuck the hot DILF the day before Father's Day because I'm respectable like that
Randomize
