i guess it's bad bediquette to quote the kool aid man
?
he said oh yeah and i responded with OHH YEAHHHHH!
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
found an unmarked box of photos in the garage, they were from when my parents first got together. It was fun laughing at their ridiculous eighties outfits and hairstyles, until I found a pic of my dad. naked. with a boner.
I am at a bar watching a rat tail get braided.
She agreed that we could have sex whenever I wanted and I could let someone else meet my mom.
I just pull a splinter from the head of my penis. It was a rough night.
and if my full six pack comes in by Halloween there is no stopping the man slut costume. I have no shame
Her voice kills me. Its the perfect pitch to fuck with my hangover.
I just got my hands on some dry ice. How do you feel about coming home to a mystical wizard toilet?
Is it possibile to sprain your taint?
She was that bad?
Yeah she let me pull the goalie and wear my USA flag like a cape since it was the first day of the world cup
My glasses were in the garbage this morning
I woke up naked in her room. More precisely, I woke up naked in her room with her and her sister laughing at my penis. I hate my life.
Thought for a game. Duck, Duck, Grey Goose. If you're tapped, you take a shot. Then proceed as normal.
You're just upset because I have cupcakes and boobs and you don't.
Randomize
