So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
Do you think when graham bell invented the phone he ever thought that people would be using them to facebook on the shitter?
seagrams + popov + pineapple + milk. there, ur search for worlds worst drink is over. you're welcome
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
Is it mean that I just sent him a pic of my tits with the header, "say bye bye?"
He referred to his cock as "The cock" like it was third party or something.
I shouldn't have to say "get your balls off my counter" on a Wednesday.
Chicken wings don't come back up an through your nose as easily as you'd think
Yo, go checkout Kerri's Instagram quick! There's like 12 pics of her fucking some guy in a bar's bathroom. GO GO GO GO!!!!
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Gotcha. How bad is it?
Well to compare it to something I would say it what's that walls would like inside the primate exhibit at the zoo after a group of monkeys finished throwing feces at each other all afternoon
I don't WANT a sex disease! Especially one assigned to me by my supervisor..
My 1st STD. I feel like there should be a cake for this.
Randomize
