dude, that girl smelled worse than the great depression.
everyone made a circle around them and startd chanting fight fight. they wernt fighting, they were dry humping
My Dad named our wireless network after my dead grandma. I refuse to look up porn on my dead grandma...
The worst part is I think my tongue cut his penis and now he wont talk to me.
failed my one goal of the day: wake up before 2 pm.
Just saw some guy puking out of the dorm window, its for sure monday
We were both halfway out the window trying to give each other high fives over the roof while the dude was going 150.
Ok more importantly someone in a chicken costume just stepped in front of my car and started breakdancing...
btw I told him that the only way he was gonna get to eat you out was if he smothered your vag with grits..
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
she just nodded and said "yeah, I'd fuck him for a reese's peanut butter cup". it's so nice to know I'm not the biggest whore living here
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
An old white couple caught us smoking the foot long. THE LOOK ON THEIR FACES.
If I was banging all the guys that people think I am, I'd quit buying batteries.
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