My gyno told me the birth control she prescribed reduces sex drive
wats the point then?
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
ra ra ra ah ah
wtf?
sexting lady gaga style
He could list all of the presidents! Every one, and in order!! I was so impressed the least I could do was give him a blow job.
Ah, yes. Making our founding fathers proud.
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
mary just dropped the yahtzee dice in her wine. and shes throwin em like shes on a craps table.
hahahaha slap the bag.
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I don't remember coming in last night, but apparently I ate a piece of pizza because when I woke up I had pizza crust stuck to the back of my thighs.
I've never had sex with me but I assume there are worse ways to be woken up.
Spending Thanksgiving making a swinging profile brings the day to a whole new level...
Yeah she's a complete bitch. But I mostly hate her because she hijacked my fuck buddy.
Randomize
