I had a disgustingly explicit dream last night involving myself and lil wayne.
I didn't black out, the guy in the Men In Black costume erased my memory
you had sex with a 30 year old who doesn't have a cell phone but does have an 8 year old son.
he's 29.
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I got kicked out of the bar but no one cared, I dont have any money so i stayed outside with the bouncer for an hour and he got so sick of me he let me back in on the condition that i cant leave my seat. VISIT ME
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
As usual, I had to fight him for his car keys. Though this time he made it to the valet garage. All the Hispanic attendants gathered around and watched. Felt like I was in a cock fight.
Just saw a drunk bitch in the west village peeing on a car. You are not alone.
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
I'll have to text you later. Trying to have civilized conversations with the boyfriends parents when I'm 100% aware I just blew their son in the bathroom 5 mins ago. Stay tuned.
Do you rver get that feeling like their are poprocks filling ur boday?
i definitely signed you up to receive text message notifications from a jukebox last night. Not even sorry.
Man I was just the closest I've ever been to crapping my pants.
so third time im replacing the batteries on my vibrator in 2 months #sosingle....on another note though, black beauty is raring to go
He said his parents were apparently coming over to surprise him with breakfast and I’ve never gotten dressed and run out of the door that quickly. I have commitment issues.
Randomize
