meow
WTF. STOP SENDING ME ANIMAL NOISES. ITS FUCKING WEIRD.
16 and pregnant actually makes me really happy that i'm gay
I was so high I couldn't tell if they were goosebumps or herpes.
This pizza tastes like mashed potatoes. HOW HIGH DO YOU THINK I AM?
As I was buying milk at the market, the lady at the checkstand said, "what? No alcohol today?" have I really earned THAT reputation?
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
I call it a party but only because that sounds better than 8 people getting drunk around a pool.
That moment when you cant decide between eating spaghetti or a Popsicle for breakfast
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
of all the things that should kill me, scurvy wont be one of them
I walked in and saw her crying and singing to her dog
FYI, his "son" is a Chihuahua.
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
I woke up with my converse still on and a plate of pasta next to my face, if that gives you any indication of how my night went
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