I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
I was on top riding him and his friend walks in and watched for a minute before he realized what was going on
its good she wears the same dress to all the weddings so we can track how fat she's really gotten
so glad i banged her when she was skinny
I sharted during my first quiz and I couldn't leave, I went ahead and took the rest of the day off.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
Just replaced the batteries in my vibrator without turning on the lights. I need to get laid.
My tits, and hanging out behind a hotel eating pizza.
New one-upper goal: I have to shit off the side of a moving train then jump off
it was a hallmark card with butt plugs.
Just realized I've spent more nights sleeping on bathroom floors the last two weeks than in my own bed. It's time to reevaluate my life.
He has an 8 pack! HE HAS AN 8 PACK!!!!
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