is it bad that the only reason i knew what antidote meant in class today, was from years of playing pokemon?
Yeah like at least with a penis what you see is what you get with a vagina there can always be a surprise inside
No it's okay, we're just driving to random places with the portable stripper pole and causing a ruckus.
Oh that's normal
You said my dick was impressive. You thank someone when they say that. My momma raised a gentleman.
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
I'm actually drinking gin and juice out of a floridas natural carton...so if that has any indication of how I'm doing
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I just sugar scrubbed my vagina. If I don't get laid tonight, me and the universe are gonna have some problems.
I am having telepathic thoughts with my cat. He loves me and wants me to blow his nose
Last night I went outside to our neighbors and asked them to put in money with me to get a hot tub for our patio. Niceeeee
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
Between the deep breathing and nipple piercings , I thought I was in the twilight zone
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
You think the guy at the speed wash knows he needs to scrub the vomit off the side of my car?
He knew.
Randomize
