We should takd a huggy cab to snuggle bunnyville
Just witnessed a walk of shame by a guy in a half gorilla suit. It's going to be a good day.
Right before he passed out, he said "Stuporman, coming in for a landing"
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
Had a student tell me he misses the old Four Loko. He's in 7th grade. No one is allowed to claim I started drinking too young ever again.
Before I left he insisted on serenading me with a ukalele. I might be a little bit in love
all i remember is walking in on u shitting and crying listening to shawty get loose. its safe to say this break up has taken a toll on u
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
My night just got really weird. In a sit down stall bathroom at this nice resturaunt and this guy walks in as I rip a humongous porcelain-splitting fart. Well, I hear him stop for a second. He then opens the door to the stall next to mine, sits down and says, "player two has entered the game."
Did you win?
I need an office. I have big plans. I'm learning spanish this month.
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
SUFFER THE WRATH OF THE PISS BAG
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
I came home and drank a bottle of wine in the bathtub. I have AMAZING coping skills!!
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