thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
They invented the twister shot game. You put a shot on each circle, take it when you land on it, and if you fall, they funnel the mat and make you drink it. New best friends.
when im done with her im going to need you to carry me on your shoulders as i poses victoriously for all those who were within earshot
All I remember is intermittent flashes of being passed out on the side of the road 3 or 4 different times. And telling him to just leave me there and I would walk home in the morning.
This would be a good time to bring up the fact that my spider-man fork is MIA
All I know is that I'm not gonna send out SOS messages via twitter for your rescue this time.
the last thing i remember was the norwegian kid tacking a bag of wine to the ceiling, then boom! shower drain.
Good luck getting that all cat food off in the shower dumbass
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I think the lady at jack in the box started crying when we put in our order.
I just remember yelling "BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS BODY SHOTS" while I was streaking
Just bought a dildo. Happy first time single in four years Valentine's Day to me
Uh I almost got the bride to go down on me. I'm the smoothest maid of honor ever.
Randomize