Should I go home with him even though I know my Run DMC undies have skid marks on them?
I think they gave out some kind of ugly girl scholarship I don't know about...
im pretty sure one of the guys i was dancing with at graffiti wrote on my back "you rock". now feel like a danced with a 5 year old.
i had the all of mcdonalds chanting USA as he motorboated you
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I just feel like a little gay dolphin in a massive sea
Omg do you remember last night you kept pointing to your vag asking who wants to play this like a fiddle hahaha
I'm sitting on my couch eating a bag of marshmallows and watching someone run bare ass down the street. What has happened to my life?
I don't have time to shower before my passport photos...your cum is all over my hair...that's with me for 10 years now
When I watch porn and jerk off like 95% of the time Iron Chef is on in the background...
Yep that's the face of someone whose dick I would put in my mouth without hesitation
Then his buddy called and said "my car broke down, I need a ride. If I'm not home by midnight they'll extend my house arrest." And I knew it was time to leave.
Ill try not let guys feel my boobs for free drinks next time, no promises tho. I am my boyfriends worst nightmare.
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
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