I wish I could teleport
And, I saw Emily's panties. How? She doesn't sit like a lady.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Does my status still say I suck cocks? I don't know how to change it
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
STOP PUTTING PICTURES OF JONAH HILL IN MY KITCHEN CABINETS!
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
um care to explain the stolen chinchila under greg's bed..i'd be fine with it if it wasnt chewing up the stash
Randomize
