Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
You had me at "you have a nicer rack then her"
If i apologize for punching you in the liver repeatedly will you explain where the grass stains on my shoulders came from?
SANTA'S REAL. I GOT MY PERIOD.
She didn't even ask about the dinosaur pinata in my trunk. Like at this point I think these are the things she expects from me
I'd rate him "doable" on a scale from "ew, run" to "you should've already fucked him".
That's about an "8" on normal scales.
DRUNK CANOEING
Please text me if you survive.
LAND HO BITCH
Would you get mad if I held a "how many dick pics can you get in one night" competition with my friend?
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
The silhouette of his dick looked like an eagle. Amurrican.
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
Not a or good or bad impression, just that you were all basically naked playing beer bong in sombreros and ties. Casual.
I just wanted to tell you that the German word for "dickhead" can also be translated as "ass violin" and I think that's beautiful.
You can trust me. I'm unemployed and not wearing pants.
Please don't think I'm weird for texting you this at 12:08 am but I just found another picture on the Internet where I think you can see his dick through whatever he's wearing
Randomize
